Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize