I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I am available for nakedness
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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