So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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