True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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