the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
