I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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