so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
