but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he puts the penis in happiness.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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