my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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