next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So vagazzling was a success
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
