I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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