they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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