Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
