I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
