I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
