look no pants
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
