Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
