Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
