i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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