our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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