I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
someone owes me an orgasm
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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