Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
