cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
