The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
