Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I deserve this hangover.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
