You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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