i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize