She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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