Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
