A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
