If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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