I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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