His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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