Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
