No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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