Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
