I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
