I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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