She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
