its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
They have beer where we have blood.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
