Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We need to get me chipped asap
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
