I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize