Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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