Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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