Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
