i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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