My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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