So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
