Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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