omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We're not piercing ourselves today.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize