Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
