Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
