people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
