It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
