we're chasing vodka with high fives
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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