I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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