Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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