Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
