i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
