Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
