What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize